Ever since I was a kid, I loved music. I would sing, try every instrument I could get my hands on, and took so much joy in hearing and playing melodies of popular songs. I had this desire to be great at music, which really isn’t in the cards for me as a person.

I can carry a tune, but my voice isn’t anything special. I can read music and I can memorize violin strings, but putting it all together was too much for me throughout my three years playing the instrument. I can pick up piano chords and notes and play by ear, but I’ll never play a symphony. In fourth and fifth grade, I rocked recorder karate to become a grand master, but it’s the recorder, so that’s not saying much. I’m mediocre at it all, so I’m at the impasse of being both musically capable and musically incapable.

For a really long time, I thought I was a really good singer and would sing a lot, which landed me in rather embarrassing situations. But looking back on it, I was doing something that brought out joy in myself, so while it may have been so obnoxious and unbearable for others, I was having a great time.

All the hours I’ve spent sitting at the piano for my whole family to hear has probably driven my family insane, but I love completing a song, even if it takes me six weeks. The guitar used to be the same, but now I’ve officially given up on that because my chubby fingers that are not proportional to my small hands cannot sit on the strings correctly. If you have any tips on that one, please let me know. I’ve had the guitar since 6th grade and I feel guilty that I can’t play it.

All this being said, I find great humor in my musical (in)abilities because I’m not a great musician and it’s more than likely that I never will be, but there are moments where things just click. Like today, in my pursuit to perfect my ability to play ‘The Office’ theme song, I randomly played five notes and accidentally figured out the famous Jurassic Park theme. I don’t know how that happens but it did and it’s almost annoying.

Off to learn the harmonica. I think my family may leave me behind in Texas when we go to move out because they are fed up with my exploration for musical greatness.