Currently 120 pages into Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates — a compilation of different groups in the manosphere and the real world impact of their misogyny — I was struck by a quote from an individual who used to be a part of the MGTOW online forums. MGTOW standing for Men Going Their Own Way, the group encourages men to limit sexual, social, and economic contact with women and even push for a limited government that allows men the freedom to oppress women. Bates got in contact with a young man who had since left the MGTOW movement and the eclectic corners of the manosphere, who shared what it was like initially being a part of this community:
“I had lots of friends, which was new to me, lots of fans and positive reinforcement and, as we started to grow and build, it honestly felt like we were eventually going to start making some positive change. It wasn’t just a community, but a new, growing movement that I got into ‘before it was cool,’ so, in a way, I felt like I was part of something progressive.”1
I wanted to post a quick thought about it because this quote is so daunting and relevant to the alt-right movements taking place within political atmosphere and governments today. Ultimately, it comes down to community and purpose. Young men gravitate to the manosphere and its different groups because they, consciously or subconsciously, desire community, and they find it among individuals experiencing the same kinds of loneliness. Bates hits home the point multiple times that these men are seeking ways to make themselves the blameless victims of the world they live in, and the community they find is centered on making change to that reality — which is, of course, by engaging in mild to extreme acts of misogyny and denying the humanity of women.
This quote shows the desire for building community off of making change, which is a foundational pillar for progressive movements. This quote highlights the current allure of the alt-right movements: conservatism is no longer enough for building community in the eyes of the politically powerful. On the political spectrum, conservatism is all about maintaining the status quo. But maintaining an idea or a right does not have the same zeal or appeal to advocates as does the idea of being a revolutionary.
So the alt-right movements of today seek to end DEI, push mass deportation, and chip away at women’s rights because it is, in the minds of these alt-right conservatives, a progressive movement towards white nationalism. These members are able to build community off of these shared desires for the future, and feel like they are making a change. And maybe, like these young men who are just seeking community for their social struggles but wind up in communities promoting blatant misogyny, individuals filling down alt-right pipelines are the same: they are seeking community and, through online forums, podcasts, and on-campus organizations, find themselves in a group of “blameless victims” who suffer at the hands of diversity, immigration, and feminism. It takes a lot less brain power to blame the world than be introspective as to how you can make the world a better place.
It’s so important to have community, and it’s something people — both young and old — struggle with finding today. And with the internet becoming a staple of social activity, opportunities for the misogyny, bigotry, and racism to be the foundation of communities becomes a more frequent reality. So in understanding what is drawing people to hateful pipelines for the sake of finding community and purpose, we might be able to redirect them to communities with strong foundations of doing good and being introspective: asking not how the world is to blame for all their problems, but instead taking responsibility and making changes for the better.
- Bates, Laura. Men Who Hate Women: From Incels to Pickup Artists: The Truth about Extreme Misogyny and How It Affects Us All. Naperville, Illinois, Sourcebooks, 3 Sept. 2020, p. 104. ↩︎
Amazingly Graceless 
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