We are at that time of the year where sorority women across the country are posting on their social media pages about signing up for Panhellenic sorority recruitment in the fall. I thought I would post an article about my greek experience, its impact on my college career, and all that jazz. I think a lot of people have false expectations about what it means to be a sorority woman, so I hope that sharing my experience can help girls who plan to go through the process.

First off, I am in no way trying to sway people to go greek or to join a certain sorority, rather just provide some insight for the recruitment process and what comes after.

I’ve always known that I would join a sorority. Growing up, my mom would talk about hers and the friends she made through it. Even knowing this, recruitment week at TCU was probably one of the most taxing and horrible weeks of my life. Nothing like showing up to a school a thousand miles from home and getting judged by half of said school’s female population. The first few days were fun with everyone working to impress and welcome potential new members into their homes, but then the cuts came, and facing the rejection of getting cut is SO draining on mental health. There are girls at TCU who have left school before the semester starts because of recruitment. But by the end of the week, I was excited about where I ended up with Alpha Omicron Pi and had a great time getting to know everyone at bid day.

But once you’re in a sorority, it’s not all rainbows and sunshine from there on out. It’s hard. I’m very thankful that I’m a part of an organization that doesn’t haze because recruitment was hell enough, but there are organizations out there that will (just beware). Personally, my biggest struggle with my sorority was finding friends and fitting in.

I got out of recruitment and basically said to myself, “I’m not gonna be that girl who only hangs out with people in my sorority.” And that really held out for me for about 75% of first semester, because I didn’t hang out with anyone in AOII. There were two big problems with that line of thinking. One, when family weekend rolled around and we went to the sorority events, I couldn’t even BEGIN to introduce my parents to people. Two, I really began to reconsider my role in greek life and thought I might be better off dropping.

Then, two things happened that changed all of those problems. I was elected the freshman Standards representative at the November elections, and I started actively seeking out people to attend chapter with. The first gave me responsibility and an outlet to get more involved, while the second changed my perception of AOII and what it meant to me. I began going to sisterhood events and chapter with different people, giving me more connections within the sorority.

At the semester’s turn, I was going through some major friend drama with everyone I spent my time with during first semester. I didn’t really have anyone to hang out with, or eat with. I really spent my Saturday nights doing microeconomics homework and ate fifteen minute meals by myself for a few weeks. If things hadn’t’ve changed, I probably wouldn’t have gone back to TCU after my first year. But things did change. I met Hannah and Libby in my film class (remember when I was a film major for a hot 45 seconds?) because they looked familiar and one of them was wearing an AOII shirt. Quickly, they became my close friends that I would eat lunch with every Tuesday and Thursday, and more once we all got closer. Then I ran into Alli and Lexi, two of the people in AOII I went with to a few basketball games) at the BLUU during one of my fifteen minute meals, which turned into us talking for an hour and a half (20 minutes of that in the non-existent chicken nugget line). And of course, with my February 11th birthday coming up, I invited them all to my 19th celebration at The Cheesecake Factory.

When it came time to sign up for living in the house, Hannah told me one day after film that she was worried about not having a roommate and I spontaneously said I would live in the house with her (BEST DECISION EVER). I finally had people who were my go-to for sitting at chapter, and I had friends to introduce my mom to during Mom’s Weekend. Seriously, a 180-degree turn from first semester. And the best part is it didn’t end there. These girls went from being my AOII acquaintances to my very best friends. I was so excited to return to TCU in the fall for recruitment because it meant I got to hang out with my favorite people.

Year two was astronomically better than year one. Living in the house had its ups and downs, but I got so much closer with everyone who also resided in the Homicron. I got my sweet little, Ashley, who is one of my favorite people, and I was elected Vice President of Standards. I got to get closer with my amazing big and our president, Kara. I woke up at 5:30 to go to the gym with Julia and Nikki. And, of course, I spent all my time laughing my ass off with Hannah and inviting myself on dates with Alli and her boyfriend. I also expanded my greek experience by joining the executive board of Collaborative Greek Alliance and traveling with TCU Panhellenic to Indiana for a leadership conference over  my birthday weekend. There are so many people and so many memories I could talk about, but this is an article, not a novel. Maybe I’ll write one someday.

My greatest memories in college come from being a part of a sorority and what’s come out of it. But, that wasn’t something I could have imagined at the beginning of my freshman year at TCU. If I would have continued to isolate myself, I wouldn’t be able to say these amazing things and share these cherished memories. I wouldn’t be counting down the days till I get to move-in with my three awesome roomies (all AOIIs) or going to Chuy’s during syllabus week with Ashley (typical us). I wouldn’t have Hannah to FaceTime on her way home from work or Alli to discuss life and faith with. And I’m so blessed that I CAN say all these things.

But not everyone has the same Greek experience, and that’s okay. Maybe sorority life isn’t for you, maybe there are other organizations that will best fit what you are looking for.

Not everyone finds their bridesmaids like people say, which is so cliche (I told Alli she would be at a tailgate and Hannah on a random Wednesday night). Not everyone enjoys mixers and formals. Some people just don’t have the time to commit and others find their people elsewhere, and that is OKAY! The biggest take away here is that what you put into a sorority is what you get out. If you give 110% and still feel like you don’t belong, then it is 120% okay to walk away. Don’t let fear hold you back from going Greek, but don’t join for all the wrong reasons (boys, booze, popularity). Sororities are supposed to be about women supporting women, changing the world, and making life-long connections. If that calls to you, then give it a try.

I’m lucky to be so passionate about AOII and the people in it (including my real/sorority sister Katelyn) that I can write this whole blog post about it. If you have any questions, I’d be happy to answer them so just reach out!

Love,

Kendall